PWSD Team Meeting

Time: 7 pm EST on Sunday (4/11) Location: Zoom Duration: ~1 hour Audience: Women's Swimming & Diving team, coaches

This is a weekly recurring event in which I have participated since the beginning of quarantine. This is the only hour of the week that we are able to gather as a team, and it has been labeled "mandatory" by our coaches and captains (yours truly). While the themes for each meeting are varied, lately they've been following the same loose structure:

1. "Shoutouts" or highlights from the week where teammates recognize each other's tiny wins! We are spread out across the country right now - some are on campus and others are training together in Florida, California, Virginia, etc. so this is good for reconnecting. (~10 min)

2. The main body of the meeting usually has something to do with leadership, goals, or sometimes just a straight-up lecture about swimming. This often involves going into breakout rooms and reconvening multiple times because my coach is pretty conscious about wanting us to be engaged. (~30-40 min)

3. Sometimes we have a teammate announce something or bring up an issue at either the end or the beginning of the meeting. This usually stirs up some conversation. I will be honest - none of our meetings really end conclusively, and people will go off into their separate pods and make a lot of noise (will elaborate on that later.)

This Sunday's Meeting

1. We recently had a teammate retire from swimming. She spoke in front of the team and tearfully informed us all of her decision. This ended in an outpour of love and support from everyone on the call before she signed off.

2. The coaches presented to us a spreadsheet of statistics regarding next year's projected Ivy League Championship times. Numbers and statistics, as I've experienced firsthand, are really tough for a women's team - especially at our age. It almost always makes people upset to see these spreadsheets because we inherently start comparing ourselves, and so lo and behold I had a couple of underclassmen reach out to me separately over text about how this was making them upset, they hate our coach, blah blah blah. This, frankly, annoyed me.

3. We had a wrap-up discussion about embodying our goals in everyday practices. I stopped listening because I was dealing with those who had texted me.

Reflections

• Zoom is something we've all grown accustomed to, and it helps with engagement we also love throwing comments into the chat even when we're not speaking. I think the platform is also great because we all get to see each other's faces - even when people are driving, eating, etc. it is kind of an unspoken thing to have your cameras on.

• This week's mood/tone...I wouldn't say it was somber, but it was a bit more serious. When people aren't saying much/interacting with the coaches, you can honestly tell right away that they have opinions or are probably texting each other individually outside the Zoom.

• The purpose of this gathering is obviously to connect as a team. Further, this week's purpose was intended to motivate us and to show us that we CAN win another championship next year. As often goes with these meetings, it is not clear if this purpose was clear to the team. We are all really close to one another, so it is people's inclinations to band against the lone male head coach...haha

• Based on the above point, these meetings almost always end with people texting me separately afterwards either complaining or commenting on something that they honestly could have said out loud on the call. This has grown to be a huge pet peeve of mine, especially considering that one of our major team values is communication and honesty in service of the greater good, even when it's uncomfortable. In this way, I guess the meeting wasn't successful in some aspects because we aren't moving forward on our values and still continuing the back chatter.

What I learned...

(I know I said I'd do a Netflix party for my gathering, but my friends weren't free this week so I didn't get the chance to do one :( )

I learned that the life of these gatherings, much like how my team functions, continues offscreen and onto other platforms. In order to understand all the subtexts and all the honest opinions, it requires me to examine the behaviors that go on OUTSIDE of the call. This is interesting because it brings another complicated dimension to the gathering. It's like the gathering spills over into other arenas of my life.

P.S. Just to clarify, I love my team. They're my family, we're just so hilariously imperfect sometimes.